I wrote too soon about achieving my goal of balancing work and my new responsibilities as a mother. The past month taught me that once you think you have it all figured out, even believing so in a modest and cautious manner, you don't. And things can transform in the most unpredictable ways...
Instead of narrating what has happened since my last post (nothing terrible by absolute standards), which the fantastic Edna Mode would deem to be " distracting from the now," I will just say that I'm experiencing something new: ambivalence about traveling. Stepping out of Hong Kong (not counting a weekend in Macau) for the first time this calendar year, I should be ecstatic, since I normally love to roam. The fun should be compounded by the fact that I'm going somewhere new and trying out a language I just learned. But with my spouse on business travel in another corner of the world during this time and my daughter sleeping soundly at home with two loving and capable caretakers at her side, I am left feeling unmoored and overwhelmed by the challenges that I would otherwise cherish.
I hope this attitude is anomalous and I will enjoy traveling on my own again, but for now, instead of pressing on to conquer my fears, I would rather take the safe and comfortable path of giving into my basic emotions and be at home with my daughter. But here I am, at the airport, ready to board...
Instead of narrating what has happened since my last post (nothing terrible by absolute standards), which the fantastic Edna Mode would deem to be " distracting from the now," I will just say that I'm experiencing something new: ambivalence about traveling. Stepping out of Hong Kong (not counting a weekend in Macau) for the first time this calendar year, I should be ecstatic, since I normally love to roam. The fun should be compounded by the fact that I'm going somewhere new and trying out a language I just learned. But with my spouse on business travel in another corner of the world during this time and my daughter sleeping soundly at home with two loving and capable caretakers at her side, I am left feeling unmoored and overwhelmed by the challenges that I would otherwise cherish.
I hope this attitude is anomalous and I will enjoy traveling on my own again, but for now, instead of pressing on to conquer my fears, I would rather take the safe and comfortable path of giving into my basic emotions and be at home with my daughter. But here I am, at the airport, ready to board...
