My month of confinement (Chinese: yuezi 月子) will end this coming Saturday, and quite unexpectedly, two thoughts are running through my mind:
1) I will miss being required to stay at home (literally within the four walls of my flat)
2) I need a real vacation
Those of you who know me understand why the first point is surprising. I am a proverbial "horse" (my Chinese zodiac sign). I become antsy if I can't go out everyday. I went and worked at my office until my personnel officer reminded me that "leave means leave" (as in, if I am on campus and were to commence labor, it would be a huge logistical headache, if not potential liability, for the university). My husband and I had many long conversations about how I would cope with the limitations of living at home for a full month (with one two-hour trip to the outside world because I had to renew my employment visa in person -- an interlude during which I realized that after one week, I had not yet regained enough of my physical strength to walk properly). Fortunately, I have observed the basic principle of remaining at home, and have also done well with other guidelines such as avoiding cold foods, wearing socks (in Hong Kong, in August, difficult even with air-conditioning), and eating all the necessary foods to replenish my blood and energy.
And through it all, I am still impressed that I did not even develop the urge to cheat nor did I get upset about not being able to exercise my generally independent spirit.
Granted, I have been lucky to have my housekeeper, father, younger sister, parents-in-law, and other relatives, not to mention my husband, to be my eyes, hands, and feet during this period. My husband registered our daughter's birth on his own, unlike some women who had to take care of that matter without any assistance, and with babies in tow. I could manage errands remotely, asking any person in my household going out to do this or that on my behalf. If I were alone all day long, or raising my daughter as a single parent, I know that I could not live in confinement without running into logistical problems.
I must also thank my daughter because although many an experienced friend had warned me about the sheer chaos that would ensue after the birth, some things are not quite as I feared. My daughter sleeps during the night and fusses during the day (better than the opposite, I imagine). She has already started to help me, wiping her own face after drinking with her mitten (for non-parent readers: mittens prevent infants from decorating their faces with scars), holding her bottle with two tight fists, and giving me some validation for responding correctly to her commands. I know most if not all babies must do these things, but for a new parent like me, each small success has mattered much in the past twenty-six days. For once in my life, I am actually happy to be home.
About the vacation, though, after not being able to travel for eight months, I am chomping at the bit. I have spent a significant amount of time pondering where to take my daughter next month (impossible, but never hurts to fantasize) so we can enjoy a tranquil environment (she can nap and observe the world, I can read and write). If I had my way, we'd be on a flight to an island nation the day after my confinement is over. But since that's not possible, we will have to make the most of the fact that starting today, I still have one month to adjust, to do research (for work and about my daughter's habits), and to enjoy as much "home-time" as I can.
1) I will miss being required to stay at home (literally within the four walls of my flat)
2) I need a real vacation
Those of you who know me understand why the first point is surprising. I am a proverbial "horse" (my Chinese zodiac sign). I become antsy if I can't go out everyday. I went and worked at my office until my personnel officer reminded me that "leave means leave" (as in, if I am on campus and were to commence labor, it would be a huge logistical headache, if not potential liability, for the university). My husband and I had many long conversations about how I would cope with the limitations of living at home for a full month (with one two-hour trip to the outside world because I had to renew my employment visa in person -- an interlude during which I realized that after one week, I had not yet regained enough of my physical strength to walk properly). Fortunately, I have observed the basic principle of remaining at home, and have also done well with other guidelines such as avoiding cold foods, wearing socks (in Hong Kong, in August, difficult even with air-conditioning), and eating all the necessary foods to replenish my blood and energy.
And through it all, I am still impressed that I did not even develop the urge to cheat nor did I get upset about not being able to exercise my generally independent spirit.
Granted, I have been lucky to have my housekeeper, father, younger sister, parents-in-law, and other relatives, not to mention my husband, to be my eyes, hands, and feet during this period. My husband registered our daughter's birth on his own, unlike some women who had to take care of that matter without any assistance, and with babies in tow. I could manage errands remotely, asking any person in my household going out to do this or that on my behalf. If I were alone all day long, or raising my daughter as a single parent, I know that I could not live in confinement without running into logistical problems.
I must also thank my daughter because although many an experienced friend had warned me about the sheer chaos that would ensue after the birth, some things are not quite as I feared. My daughter sleeps during the night and fusses during the day (better than the opposite, I imagine). She has already started to help me, wiping her own face after drinking with her mitten (for non-parent readers: mittens prevent infants from decorating their faces with scars), holding her bottle with two tight fists, and giving me some validation for responding correctly to her commands. I know most if not all babies must do these things, but for a new parent like me, each small success has mattered much in the past twenty-six days. For once in my life, I am actually happy to be home.
About the vacation, though, after not being able to travel for eight months, I am chomping at the bit. I have spent a significant amount of time pondering where to take my daughter next month (impossible, but never hurts to fantasize) so we can enjoy a tranquil environment (she can nap and observe the world, I can read and write). If I had my way, we'd be on a flight to an island nation the day after my confinement is over. But since that's not possible, we will have to make the most of the fact that starting today, I still have one month to adjust, to do research (for work and about my daughter's habits), and to enjoy as much "home-time" as I can.
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