I haven't been posting in the past two months with the enthusiasm that I hoped to share about the challenges of continuing my academic career while working on the other end of the educational spectrum by mothering a newborn child.
Like many other mothers, three weeks after birth, the changes in my physiology shut down parts of my mental and emotional selves. I became a completely different person, and went through every day hoping that my treatments would be effective to restore my "natural self." Many of my carers asked what is normal, and as impaired as I was, I tried to figure out how to describe those characteristics and abilities that I take for granted. Going day by day, week by week, I felt that my intellect was breaking down and that if it fell apart, I could not longer do the work that I value, maintain my relationships with family, friends, and colleagues -- and literally lose everything (while knowing that the rest of the world would be moving along smoothly in my absence).
I am now trying to count the good days on a bumpy road -- this faultless problem still irritates and frustrates me, and no amount of persuasion that it is "normal" to be "abnormal" has been convincing…
So I march, and my daughter, now learning to produce sounds, is cheering me on by growling...
Like many other mothers, three weeks after birth, the changes in my physiology shut down parts of my mental and emotional selves. I became a completely different person, and went through every day hoping that my treatments would be effective to restore my "natural self." Many of my carers asked what is normal, and as impaired as I was, I tried to figure out how to describe those characteristics and abilities that I take for granted. Going day by day, week by week, I felt that my intellect was breaking down and that if it fell apart, I could not longer do the work that I value, maintain my relationships with family, friends, and colleagues -- and literally lose everything (while knowing that the rest of the world would be moving along smoothly in my absence).
I am now trying to count the good days on a bumpy road -- this faultless problem still irritates and frustrates me, and no amount of persuasion that it is "normal" to be "abnormal" has been convincing…
So I march, and my daughter, now learning to produce sounds, is cheering me on by growling...
No comments:
Post a Comment